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(9 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

[14 Jan 2010|12:43am]
Then: January 2000

1. Age: 21
2. Romantic Status: sleeping with just about anyone. i was young and horny.
3. Occupation: selling restaurant equipment
4. Fun night out: hit the goth / industrial / BDSM clubs looking for another one night stand.
5. My BFFs: Timm, Corey, Patrick, DaveDees, Petal
6. I spent way too much time: Pick a dork activity: M:tG, comics, games. loved it all. Still do. the over-indulgence on hallucinogens was ill-advised, but worth it.
7. I spent not enough time: no regrets.
8. I wanted to be when I grew up: Never expected to.
9. Biggest concern: Next Heroic dose of acid, next woman to bed.
10. What my biggest concern should have been: see above. no regrets.
11. Where did I live? in my sister's basement in bowie, md.
12. Dumbest thing I did that year: moving to minneapolis. smartest too.
13. If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: you're on the right track. change nothing.

Now: January 2010

1. Age: 31
2. Romantic Status: engaged. in every sense of the word.
3. Occupation: still the same as a decade ago. even if i should leave.
4. Fun night out: boys nights. sports. beers. video games. a decade ago, a fun night was looking for transient affection. now that i've got the real thing, i like having a night of testosterone fueled dick waving.
5. My BFF: Timm, slank, cacie.
6. I spend way too much time: playing video games, comics, drinking to excess.
7. I spend not enough time: preparing myself for the future
8. I want to be when I grow up: living the dream already. i might change some minor details, but the big stuff is exactly right.
9. Biggest concern: money. to be more precise, money for the wedding, the honeymoon, stuff needing to be done for the house.
10. What my biggest concern should be: see above. very practical i am.
11. Where do I live: laurel, md. same as it ever was.
12. Dumbest thing I have done this year: again with the no regrets. every "dumb" decision i've made puts me here. and here is where i belong.
13. What I think I would say to myself in 10 years: keep doing what you do.

1. What do I miss most from 1999: the freedom that comes from being young and stupid
2. What do I miss least from 1999: the freedom that comes from being young and stupid
3. What have I accomplished in 10 years that I am most proud of: overcoming my fear of truly making myself vulnerable.

(7 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

Some days are better than others [15 Oct 2009|09:38am]
So, it's been 4 years since I started dating the most wonderful, smart, sexy, funny, awesome, giving, every-other-adjective-of-kickass woman in this or any other galaxy.

In a little less than a year, we'll be going down the aisle to proclaim to the world something I've long known - this is my soulmate. This is my family. This is my life. This is everything I never knew I wanted until it happened. This is my bride.

I wouldn't trade the worst day with her for the best day without her. I can't help but gush with overly sentimental saccharine. I can't find the right words so I resort to Hallmark worthy boasts.

What can I say? She's the only one for me. The best of times, the worst of times; she's been there for me when she had every right to walk away. That kind of faith leaves me in awe. That kind of love breeds only more of the same.

I know I'm barely stumbling through this coherently. It's like trying to fill a teacup with a tidal wave. This pathetic medium just isn't enough to express my love. I'm glad I've got the rest of my life to show her how grateful I am to have her.

I love you. Yesterday. Now. Forever. Until the goddamn stars go dark.

(4 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

holy crap! [05 Mar 2009|09:43pm]
Totally fake, but beyond awesome. There's a lot of little touches for those that have read the comic obsessively :)

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[18 Feb 2009|04:29pm]
- Describe me in one word... just one single word. Positive or negative.

- Leave your word in a comment before looking at what words others have used.

-Then copy and paste the meme to your journal to find out how people will describe you when limited to one word.

(4 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

[16 Feb 2009|09:42am]
Home ownership, day 18; the story so far (in vaguely chronological order)...

Had refrigerator and washer / dryer delivered. Sears outlet1 is awesome.
http://tinyurl.com/cd5mow = 900 bucks!

While trying to hook up clothes washer, discovered that the old hot hose was seized up onto the valve.
Cut the copper above the valve and installed new one.

Installed new thermostat.

Primered the basement and main level with *huge* help from GerAmyMo. Painted the living room2 and kitchen3.

Water heater blew an element. By blew, I mean it actually expelled itself from the unit. In an elegant bit of serendipity, I bought a shop-vac that morning on a whim.
Installed new elements and thermostats on water heater.

Main sewage line from house stopped up and dumped (thank god) only clothes washer and shower water.
Vacuumed up sudsy water for a few hours. Had plumber snake sewage line. I can fix a lot of things, but some shit4 you leave to the professionals.

Installed 2 ceiling light fixtures.

Tonight's experiment: Can I install a new single gang outlet and a garbage disposal? stay tuned!

Also putting a new faucet in, but that I've actually done before.

1Scratch N Dent Warehouse!

(18 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

[04 Feb 2009|11:03am]
hi internets.

I got engaged.

We bought a house.

pictures later.

bye internets.

(Lick the Balls)

[19 Nov 2008|07:34am]
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

(5 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

[04 Nov 2008|03:57pm]
so very very wrong...but I can't help myself

Read more...Collapse )

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[26 Oct 2008|01:06am]
holy crap. mr. boddy from the clue movie was lee ving, lead singer of FEAR.

"i love living in the city!"

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voting [21 Oct 2008|12:08pm]
for Maryland residents, you can go here to view all items up for vote in your jurisdiction.


Know your issues!

(3 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

[21 Oct 2008|09:30am]
They had his funeral. Carried him down to the graveyard.
Dolemite was dead, but his dick was still hard.
The preacher said, "Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust."
Said, "I'm glad this little bad muthafucka called Dolemite is no longer here with us!"

R.I.P. Rudy Ray Moore

(3 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

And now it's time for.... [01 Oct 2008|08:44am]
The VP debate drinking game.

here are the rules:
A "Drink" is defined as a simple sip of whatever beverage you prefer. No straight shots please. Alcohol poisoning is never fun.

Every time Sarah Palin bats her eyelashes, or does anything coquettish at all really: 1 drink

Every time Joe Biden's mouth starts a'running long before his brain has a chance to intervene: 1 drink

Every time Sarah Palin uses the wrong talking point (IE. "So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions." when talking about the Bailout): 2 drinks

Every time Joe Biden mentions "Washington insiders" or "Golden parachute": 2 drinks

add your own in the comments!

(Lick the Balls)

[25 Sep 2008|10:49pm]
ok, so the 2 kids 1 sandbox video is making rounds again. i remember it from damn near a decade ago and it's still just as fucked up.

on another side, i <3 the spore and you should friend Cacie and augalicious and let me know so i can friend you back.

(Lick the Balls)

twizzurp [09 Sep 2008|08:02am]

  • 22:48 @MagneticOrNot holy crap. sporesporespore. spore on the PC. spore on the iphone. it's evolution in stereo!!! #

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yes, i am a huge dorkus [07 Sep 2008|05:14pm]
LHC rap

(2 Licked Balls | Lick the Balls)

[04 Sep 2008|09:32pm]

ganked from woodstick

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twizzurp [30 Aug 2008|08:02am]

  • 19:16 Playstation 3: better than anal. #

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ha! [27 Aug 2008|09:09am]
further proof the LHC is going to kill us all:


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twizzurp [27 Aug 2008|08:01am]

  • 00:22 @MagneticOrNot @electricpenguin artmosphere? more like fartmosphere </ironical jokesterism> #

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twizzurp [24 Aug 2008|08:01am]

  • 00:27 @cacie iknorite!? Exciting! #

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